I received my first opportunity to practice my leadership skills at the tender age of 19. I was a Chef/ Paraprofessional at a vocational school food service program. I had the competence and credibility as a culinarian but failed miserably as a role model for Leadership. I was trying to be liked, and at ages 17- 19, being their friend. I was soon overrun and saved by the bell at the end of the school year.
My second chance came several years later as the General Manager of a college bar. I was now a culinary grad and in my senior year of Michigan State’s Hospitality Business Program. I got my first experience in hiring staff. I learned that I alone do not have the eye for sourcing the best talent, and experienced higher than the desired turnover. We made better hiring decisions with 2- 3 interviewers collaborating their perspectives. It is also better to turn someone down in the hiring process, then making someone “available to the industry” once they have become part of the team. The second lesson I learned there was that alcohol does not sharpen the senses.
I had just turned 26 when I became the Executive Chef of a white tablecloth restaurant and charged with a staff of 40. The restaurant was successful. The staff was well trained and skilled. They thought one of their own would be promoted to the Executive Chef’s position. I learned a lot about team loyalty and culture. I also performed my first difficult termination. I flamed out, lost my cool, and played the power card. Looking back, it should have been easy. This individual was in clear violation of a health code and had been warned about this before. When the individual in question said, “You are just trying to abuse your power. The previous Chef allowed me to do this for the last 2 years!” I lost my temper and replied with, “You are right! I am firing you because I can!” I am lucky that did not end up in a legal battle.
The more experience I got at leading, hiring, and termination, the better employer I became. I learned to walk the fine line of being empathetic and holding my team accountable for their choices. It is much easier to look back over a leadership career spanning 40 years and analyzing what worked and what did not. Much more difficult when you are in the moment and must make an educated choice. I urge you to take a moment before acting, to put yourself in their shoes, and ask, “How would I like to be treated in this situation?”
One last story on my Leadership blunders. I was 3 years into my role as the Executive Chef at this wonderful establishment. I had an employee who was exceptionally talented and loyal. I had formed a good relationship with them that extended outside of the kitchen. We did things with each other’s families and golfed together during slower days in the summer. He also had a drinking problem that I ignored. He was a functioning alcoholic and still grieving the death of his wife. Signs of his unraveling started to show; write-ups for verbally abusing the wait staff, sarcastic comments to other members of the culinary team, and quality issues with dishes that he served. He was always on time for his shift, prepared for the rush, and completed whatever task was asked of him. By the time I fired him he was drinking 8 bottles of Vodka and 8 cases of beer a week. I attended his funeral two years later at the age of 46. I did not help Jack by ignoring the signs. I was protecting me from having to deal with an uncomfortable conversation that would impact our relationship. I don’t know if Jack would be here today if I had dealt with the situation head-on. But, it would have given him an option to help himself.
Leadership is rewarding with many positive memories I have stored away. These lessons haunt those memories also. I learned from the lessons and offer them to you as examples of what not to do. Learn from your mistakes but do not let them define who you are.
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