I really do not care for this question that was in my book on Blog Writing Prompts. Yet it grabbed my attention and conjured up a memory of an egotistical participant in one of my leadership classes.
He asked, “Can I manipulate my employees into following my wishes?"
It caught me off guard, so I asked him to repeat his question.
"Can I manipulate my employees into following my wishes?"
My quick answer was a resounding, "Yes!" I paused for a few minutes... and continued. "As long as you are willing to accept the consequences."
He responded with a glib, "What would that be, total control?"
I wanted to throttle him. Cooler heads prevailed this time as I realized how ignorant he was. What he didn't understand yet was a lesson I learned from the Arbinger Institute's book titled, "Leadership and Self Deception".
People can tell when they are being manipulated or coerced. Even when it is delivered by a Blue Tongued Devil, (someone with polished communication skills). They will react to how they are feeling about you, not the words you are delivering. Those reactions could be a revolt or just compliance, but certainly not giving over total control to you. Neither of those outcomes is going to help you achieve your long- term goals. That would take commitment. People commit when they feel respected and trust that your words truly match your intentions. If you feel you can manipulate your team, then you already believe you are better than them. As leaders, we are here to support our team and that takes humility, not dominance.
"So Slick, please come back when you understand that your intentions are as important as your words."
Here is a quote a friend of mine posted on Facebook, that is a funny way to end:
"When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. The pain is only felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid."
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